Marathon training is hard. I don't want to sugar-coat it for those of you new to running. It truly sucks everything out of you. It's kind of like being on your period for 16 weeks. I am exhausted, cranky, sore, and emotional. I'm injured. I've tried to push through, but last weekend it was too much. I was supposed to complete two and a quarter hours (roughly 12-13 miles) with Team in Training. I cut it short-way short-after 3 miles. I'm mad at myself for cutting it short. I'm upset that I'm injured. I'm frustrated with where I am in my training. I'm terrified that I won't be ready. The little doubt monster has been creeping in..."drop to the half marathon, you know you can finish it." I'm doing little stuff-like buying new shoes-so I can get out of the slump.
But there are times of joy when I'm out running. Times where I feel like I could run forever. Times when my feet make music when they hit the ground. Moments, however fleeting, of pure happiness. Moments when I think about how amazing finishing the 26.2 miles will be. Moments when I think of the people in my life fighting cancer. They are strong people who never back down. They give me strength on the days it is difficult to run.
I also feel that during all of this training, I've become a real runner. I don't always run with music anymore. I run with my team, enjoy conversations, listen to the sounds around me. I hear my footsteps, my breathing, the cicadas making horror-movie music (They are really freaking loud and creepy sounding here in Indiana).
This is my new moto for the marathon. I'm currently in a wave of pain. (Thanks! www.rungiarun.com)